January 26, 2009

coming back to review some old writings, looking for poetry based posts. Missing my old blogroll connections…


All Gone!

July 10, 2008

I moved. I am over here now… www.mynameisdionne.com  and you can email me here: dionne@mynameisdionne.com  Just in case you wondered? There are no secrets now.

Come visit me, and bring your friends!

(a big shout out to Leanne at Intricate Art for helping me!)

Just D on Thursday

July 3, 2008

I want to write here. I want to write and write and write, but everytime I sit down I draw a blank. It’s not that I draw a blank so much as that what I want to write doesn’t seem to fit into this blog… not that I’ve outgrown it per se, but just that my heart and mind are currently consumed by so much other thoughts that the writing I need to do isn’t really geared toward this.

Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up…

I am married. I have kids. I love my husband.
I am a Christian, I go to church, I love God.
I am a mom, a caregiver, a nurturer.
I am a doula, an educator, a giver.

Somewhere in there, the enemy has been silently laying down a trap and I fell hook line and sinker (bible, concordance, and highlighter?) into it.

he laid down a stepping stone pathway in places so soft and tender that I was misled. Where I stepped was not the place of love, obedience, authenticity, light, truth, or created by my Saviour.
Where I stepped was greed, selfishness, self desire, pity, fear, pride, self righteousness, self reliance, faux truth, justification, and worldly treasure.

God is so good though, so faithful, so present. He found a crack and shone in His light. And as the saying goes, “and even darkness flees from him…” And once the darkness receeded I was actually able to see the places I’d misstepped. It wasn’t pretty.

I may not continue much blogging here – I had made the move here anyway, looking for secrecy (under the guise of privacy – two different things entirely) and lost my reader base. I’m moving upward and onward, a little smaller and humbler, a little more broken but more able to be healed.

I was straddling the line… I fell off and tried to stay the course… and I went from D to Just D to Anonymous, Anonymous D, FC anonymous D… and I’m tired of trying to be someone other than me.

I need to focus on some big important stuff in my life. I hope you’ll stick around cuz it might actually be interesting.

(secretly found over here: www.wellfertilized.wordpress.com )

Only Five Weeks

June 16, 2008

It’s only been 5 weeks since I closed this and died inside.

Funerals over, time to parrrrtayyy!

Or, you know, sulk, snivel, whine, mope… whatever.

Here I am, in a new location with a new title… and the same ol’ boring crap. But I haven’t quite failed you yet! I have very bitter angry truth writing somewhere else… *cue the creepy music…

If you really know me? You will know where else I am… and if you are a happnestance passerby, then you’ll need to worm your way in to my swiss cheese trust. Chocolate and Wine will take you far…

Hello… and good night…

and hey, I’ll see ya around!

I would hug you and say, “You are Wonderful!”

Because you are.

You are wonderful and beautiful and brave! You are so strong and so good and so much a treasure to me… how lucky I am to have you as a child.

Yes, I’m talking to YOU.

It doen’t matter that YOU are alone or in a family, it doesn’t matter if you look like a model on the red carpet or if you have a double chin and get winded walking to the phone. I love you. YOU are Wonderful.

I can say this because, because, because I KNOW you. I really do. Even if you don’t tell me everything, even if you think I’d never understand or I’d want to turn away from your truth, I KNOW you and your truth isn’t anything I haven’t known before. I think YOU are beautiful, strong, wise, compassionate and kind, and the very best YOU that there is. There is no other YOU and I am so thankful that YOU are the one I got.

I really love you. You fill me with joy and pride, and I love to tell people about you. I love hearing you, watching you, and being with you. I love every single tiny thing about you. Really, I do. You are so wonderful and I love you soooo much.

Have a Happy Mothers Day!
Love, Me

(I imagine this is God talking to me… I imagine this is what my children hear and feel from me… I wonder what it would be like if every single child grew up hearing these words all the time?)

Is it too late?

May 7, 2008

Dear Beloved Children of my Loin (loin which has NEVER recovered I might add) , I got it together enough to figure out what I’d really like for Mothers Day. Last Weekend when Meme was gone, I pretty much got everything I’d wanted on my original list so while I was luxuriating in the aftermath this weekend, I came up with a new list. Ready?

I’d like for the clothes to magically make it from your floor INTO the laundry basket without me first picking up dirty socks from under the computer and the kitchen table and underwear from behind the bed and getting my two point shot in.

I’d like for the laundry baskets to magically get downstairs to the laundry room, get emptied, and then get themselves back upstairs without first having overflowed, been smashed down and overflowed again resulting in me sweating and cursing as I take the 75lbs of laundry downstairs… in my knee brace…

Also? Wow, what if the clothes got sorted into one of the three sorter bins…and each bin contained the same colors?? As in, white goes with white, jeans go with jeans… dude, that would rock!

I’d adore it if someone could remember to flush, if someone else could just admit to the fact that they always ‘miss’ and just wipe it up instead of allowing it to collect, drip off, and crust over before I find it. If someone else could decide that a bin of dirty diapers stinks and should be taken out and not left to sit until I gag upon opening the bathroom door it would be a bonus.

A favorite gift might be if someone could remember to spit INTO the sink and not all over the mirror, and could also wipe up the globby bits of toothpaste before it hardens into cement. It’s quite easy really… running water, a little finger wipe and ta-dah!

Am I the only one who knows how to put new toilet paper on the roll? It’s YOUR bathroom… I’m just saying.

If it isn’t too much to ask, could someone please, just please, not even ALL the time but at least a few times a week, just put things BACK WHERE THEY BELONG when you are done? Hint: books, papers, pens, pencil sharpeners, toys, cups and plates, bags of popcorn, blankies, bathrobes, etc.

When I get the laundry out of the laundry basket to put it in the washer, usually the jeans are halfway inside out and your underwear is stuck in the one leg and one sock is stuck in the other. Your pockets are often full of tissue, pennies, crayons, flashdrives, candy wrappers, and other detritus. Can you maybe try untangling and un-inside-outing? Or at least empty your pockets… please?

One gift I would be thrilled to get, without a doubt, is if someone would see some garbage on the floor – like a scrap of paper or some peice of fuzz or a leaf or stray cheerio – and just pick it up instead of everyone trampling on it, around it, and over it, until I pick it up.

PICK UP YOUR SHOES! ahem. excuse me. We have a shoe rack… it’s purpose is to hold your shoes. It’s right there where it’s always been. Use it.

There is this other thing we have… it’s wonderful and I totally love it. I would never want to be without one so I can’t imagine how ya’ll go through the day without it. The closet. Yes, the door which, when opened, reveals a nice place to hang up your jacket so the cat won’t pee on it, or to store your backpack so I won’t trip on it for the 10th time, or to place your purse on a hook so you won’t lose your driving permit, your wallet, your list of phone numbers, and the credit card you recieved for your last birthday. I’ve already been generously gifted with one of my own (a closet, that is), you each have one of your own, and then, lo and behold, there is an extra one right there by the door. Next to the shoe rack.

Sigh. It’s just a few things, not so much really… just a couple of ideas. I could be asking for this or this or this. But no, I’m pretty easy to please actually. Although if I could get you to do this for one of my “busy” days, it would top every other thing!

Love, Mom
(finder of all things lost, chief picker upper, accredited and liscenced hugger, manager of The Gang)

A Contest For You!

May 5, 2008

I recieved a little box in the mail today.

A little brown box with three little treasures in it.

Three little treasures that I’d like to give away… Whoo-hoo!

So it’s time for my First Ever Contest.
If you play, you might win… so tell your friends, tell your blogbuddies, tell your kids (!!!) and lets see who wins a treasure from the little brown box that my mail carrier left me.

Option #1: list 5 Top Most Important Items a New Mom Must Have or Must Know.

Option #2: list 5 Important Things a High School Graduate Should Know.

Option #3: list 5 Things You Wish You Would Have Done (or wish you didn’t do!) when You Were 18.

Write a post that includes one of the above options (only one!) and then leave me a comment with a link to your post.

This contest will run from Monday 5/5 through Wednesday 5/8 at noon.

Rules? Oh, um… I’m a rule breaker by nature, but let’s see….

  • You can only enter ONCE, with only ONE of the options.
  • On your blog you can say that it’s a contest and link back to me and invite your friends to enter if you want to.
  • Any posts/entries that include entertaining and insightful stories and or pictures may be awarded an extra goodie just because I feel like it.
  • When all is said and done, I’ll do a mrlinky thing (if someone will first tell me HOW to do it) and post all the responses. m’K?
  • The winner in each category will be chosen entirely at random using my children, an empty coffee can, and closed eyes.

Let the fun begin!